Talk Show Glukk
by TheManFromMudos
Summary: Ladies and gentle-Glukks, gather round for a brand new talk show featuring the most famous faces of Oddworld. Each episode boasts an especially odd guest, and with your host, Phillip Daxby, we'll be asking them the questions everyone's dying to know the answers to!
1. Chapter 1

Talk Show Glukk

Episode One – Mr. Sekto

*LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! This is TheManFromMudos, and this is my new series, 'Talk Show Glukk'. So, when I was writing the latest chapter of 'Oddworld: Al's Oddysee', I had an idea. A Glukkon talk show host, interviewing familiar faces from all over Oddworld (well, Mudos). Then I decided to write a script for one of these interviews. The result is what you see below. 'Talk Show Glukk' will become a new series of short scripts. And, I'll be asking you, my readers, for suggestions on who should appear next on the show. So, sit back and enjoy. This is the first episode of 'Talk Show Glukk'. THANK YOU!*

(_We are in a small studio. The audience is large and is centered around a desk and seats at centre-stage, with a large television screen between them. The audience begins to applaud, and in walks a Glukkon dressed in a navy blue suit. He boasts a brilliant cigar and large glasses. He walks to the centre of the stage and the applause reaches a climax._)

**Glukkon: **Thank you, thank you! Welcome, ladies and gentle-Glukks! I'm Philip Daxby, and this is 'Talk Show Glukk', the brand new show where I'll be talking with some of Mudos's most familiar faces. We'll be having guest appearances from the likes of Lulu the Glukkon, Crig the Slig, and Headley the Vykker!

(_There is an uproar of applause from the audience_.)

**Daxby: **I know, we've got lots in store for you all. But, for our first guest tonight, please put your hands together for... The owner of Sekto Springs Dam himself, it's Sekto!

(_The audience applauds once more. Enter Sekto, an Oktigi clad in black clothing. He walks centre stage and is greeted by Daxby. He sits in the closest chair to the desk and assumes a comfortable position._ _Daxby moves to sit behind the desk. The audience becomes quite._)

**Daxby: **So, Mr. Sekto, eh? Welcome to the show, thanks for coming on.

**Sekto: **Thanks for inviting me, Daxby.

**Daxby: **Now, Sekto. Let me get right to the question everyone's thinking. Are you proud of what Sekto Springs Dam has done to the Mongo River?

**Sekto:** Proud? Of course I'm not proud. I've destroyed hundreds of habitats, bottlenecked the water flow, and reduced the amount of fishing in the whole of Western Mudos.

**Daxby: **And why aren't you proud of this?

**Sekto: **Didn't you hear what I said? Hundreds of habitats? I wanted to destroy _thousands_! Bottlenecked the water flow? I wanted to _stop _the water flow! And reduce the amount of fishing? Of course, I wanted to _eliminate _fishing in Western Mudos!

**Daxby: **Ah, I see. So, you don't believe that you've quite achieved your aims yet?

**Sekto: **Well, let's just say there's a long way to go, Daxby.

**Daxby: **I see. Well, here's a couple more questions for you, Sekto.

(_The television screen between Daxby and Sekto flickers into life. Questions begin to appear on the screen. The first reads _'How much Moolah do you have?')

**Daxby: **Okay, Sekto. Let's start with this question. How much Moolah do you have?

**Sekto: **More than I know what to do with. I mean, just look at this!

(_Sekto pulls out a thick, black wallet, bursting at the seems with Moolah. The audience breaks out into applause._)

**Daxby: **Fair enough. Okay, Question Number Two. Sekto, how many Steef heads do you own?

**Sekto: **Two-hundred and seven. Be two-hundred and eight once I catch this mysterious stranger that's been roaming the towns of Western Mudos.

**Daxby: **Yes, I understand you're a collector of Steef heads.

**Sekto: **Collector? I've practically endangered them!

(_Sekto laughs and the audience follow suit._)

**Daxby: **Sounds like an interesting collection. Okay, final question, Sekto. The Oktigi are a member of the Octigi family. What sets the Oktigi aside from their evolutionary partners, us Glukkons?

**Sekto: **Well, we do have one thing going for us…

**Daxby: **Care to elaborate?

(_There are murmurs of approval from the audience._)

**Sekto: **We've got arms!

(_Sekto bursts into raucous laughter. Daxby reluctantly joins in, followed by the audience._)

**Daxby: **Well, thanks for coming on the show tonight, Sekto. You've been a pleasure to talk to. Ladies and gentle-Glukks, Mr. Sekto!

(_Sekto stands and leaves. The audience cheer and Daxby gets up and moves to the centre of the stage._)

**Daxby: **Well, I'm afraid that's all we've got time for tonight, folks. This has been 'Talk Show Glukk', I've been Phillip Daxby, and I'll be back soon with another special guest. _GOOD NIGHT!_

(_The audience burst into applause as Daxby leaves the stage. The curtain falls and the show ends._)

*So, everybody. What did you think? This has been 'Talk Show Glukk', there'll be more to come in the future, and remember, I'm taking suggestions for special guest appearances! So, if there's someone you'd like to see on the show, just let me know. THANK YOU!*


	2. Chapter 2

Talk Show Glukk

Episode Two – Lulu the Glukkon

*LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! I'm TheManFromMudos, and welcome back to the second episode of 'Talk Show Glukk'. This episode features none other than Lulu the Glukkon, but we'll leave it to Daxby to fully introduce him. Read on and enjoy. THANK YOU!*

(_We appear in the same small studio as before. The audience is gathered around the set, waiting for Daxby's arrival. The audience begins to applaud, and in he walks, wearing the same navy blue suit as last time. He walks to his desk to a rousing cheer from the audience._)

**Daxby: **Good evening, all! Welcome back to 'Talk Show Glukk'. I'm your host, Phillip Daxby, and today we'll be talking to yet another of Oddworld's top celebrities. But first, ladies and gentle-Glukks, I'd like to apologise for something I said on the last show. I asked you all to put your hands together, and I'm sorry to have offended the Glukkons in the audience. Yes, I know that we cannot 'put our hands together'. But anyway, now that that's out of the way, please give a warm welcome to… Lulu the Glukkon!

(_The audience applauds and Lulu walks in. He shows off an enormous flashy suit and a long, thick cigar. He heads over to Daxby and sits in one of the armchairs beside him._)

**Lulu: **Thank you! Thank you all! It's great to be here!

**Daxby:** No problem, Lulu. Glad you could be on the show. So, Lulu. As in the last show, we'll start with the question everybody wants to be answered. How does it feel to come from such a humble beginning to where you are now?

**Lulu: **It's great, Daxby. Honestly, I love the high life! Some say money can't buy you happiness. I disagree!

(_He erupts into laughter, as does the audience. There is some applause, which eventually settles. After this, the audience is quiet once again._)

**Daxby:** Okay then. Lulu, here's a few more questions that the public want to hear answered.

(_The television monitor between the two Glukkons lights up. The first question appears on the screen, reading _'Where did you get your suit?')

**Daxby: **So, how about this one, eh? Lulu, where is that suit from?

**Lulu: **I got it made especially by one of the best tailors in Mudos. Glukkon called Tex got one made, too, and the owner of Flub Fuels. Sadly, I can't give you his card. He only works for the richest!

(_Lulu laughs again. The audience finds less enjoyment from this remark, but there is some laughter all the same. The question on the screen then changes._)

**Daxby: **Well, what about this question. "Lulu, how did you get the idea for Lulu's Fund"?

**Lulu: **That's a good question. I don't really know, to be perfectly honest. The inspiration just… hit me. What else can I say?

**Daxby: **Can't argue with that. Everyone has one burst of inspiration within them. Right, everybody?

(_The audience agrees and begins to applaud Lulu. The final question appears on the television screen._)

**Daxby: **Alright, Lulu. Last question. "Vykkers Labs will soon be auctioning the last can of Gabbiar on Oddworld. It's said that only the richest will attend. Will you be going?"

(_Members of the audience mumble amongst themselves. It seems that they want to know that answer to this particular question._)

**Lulu: **Well, Daxby. This may come as a bit of a surprise to you, but no. I will not be attending the auction.

(_There are gasps from the audience. Some ask questions which are inaudible._)

**Daxby: **Oh. Care to tell us why?

**Lulu: **I'll be perfectly honest, Daxby. I hate Gabbiar. It's just Gabbit eggs, right? I mean, who'd want a can of that disgusting (BLEEP)?

(_People are clearly shocked by this last statement. Daxby waits until the audience falls quiet again. He then continues._)

**Daxby: **Fair enough. Well, Lulu. It's been a delight to talk to you tonight. Hope you've enjoyed being on the show.

**Lulu: **I have indeed, Daxby. Thanks again for having me on.

**Daxby: **Not at all. Ladies and gentle-Glukks, Lulu the Glukkon!

(_The audience roars with applause. Lulu stands and walks offstage. The applause continues whilst Daxby also stands and walks centre stage._)

**Daxby: **Well everybody, thanks for watching 'Talk Show Glukk'. I've been Phillip Daxby, he's been Lulu the Glukkon, and you've been a wonderful audience. We'll see you next time! _GOOD NIGHT!_

(_The audience cheers and there are a few whistles as Daxby leaves the stage. The stage lights go out and the curtain falls._)

*Well, that's it for this episode of 'Talk Show Glukk'. Thanks everyone for reading. There'll be more soon. THANK YOU!*


End file.
